THE TORT LAW RACKET

In this age of legal shakedowns and kickbacks it is a well known fact that Ralph Nader is owned and operated by the trial lawyers. Therefore it should come as no surprise that recently you may have read about Nader's ongoing plans for an American Museum of Tort Law in his home state of Connecticut. If this becomes reality, he owes it to the American people to also show the dominant ugly side of tort law, the one that is abused and manipulated by those lawyers who have done much less than a "socially redeeming" job. Whether Mr. Nader would be willing to devote the time and resources to such an enormous undertaking as the repulsive side of civil justice is doubtful.

With that in mind we offer our assistance at a modest $1750 hourly consultation fee. Here are a few humble suggestions on how the American Museum of Tort Law should showcase the reckless abuse, gamesmanship and degradation of our legal system by some of these social redeemers.

First, how about a Frivolous Lawsuit Room? Wallpapered in dollar bills representing taxpayers' money wasted on lawsuit abuse each year, this room will be dedicated to every lawyer and litigant that has laughed all the way to the bank. The main exhibit, encased in plastic, would be the veritable holy grail of civil justice, the McDonald's cup that held the coffee Stella Liebeck spilled on herself as she left the drive-through. She sued the company and won an initial award of $2.7 million.

On another pedestal let's place the jar of chunky peanut butter a prison inmate sued California over because he wanted the smooth variety instead. And, among many, many others, we should be sure to include the six-pack of beer a woman sued her supermarket over because she dropped it on her foot, winning more than $400,000.

The highlight of the Frivolous Lawsuit Room, though, will be a huge digital counter which continuously tells visitors how much the legal system has cost them so far that year. As a baseline, the American Tort Reform Association estimates this cost to be $1,200 per person, per year, for a total annual cost of billions.

Surrounding the display would be such threats to humanity as a stepladder and a football helmet, of which 20 to 50 percent of the cost goes strictly to cover liability.

We propose the next room be the Junk Science Room. On the walls, we can display images of all the dubious "experts" on whom personal injury lawyers have relied over the years to manipulate judges and juries. The centerpiece of the room will be a statue of Tara Ransom, a young child who relies on a brain shunt, made of silicone, to keep her alive. Her statue would be a reminder that even though real science has shown no link between silicone breast implants and disease, junk science has all but driven silicone from the market, limiting Tara's access to the only device available to keep her alive.

Elsewhere in the room would be shrines to products like silicone heart valves, pacemakers and vaccines that are too expensive because of avaricious lawsuits. And finally, the room will contain a large, clear plastic empty box, to symbolize all the life-saving products that will never be available because of the risk of lawsuits.

Our final room would be the Class Action Room. At the entrance a sign would read: "Class action suits were intended to help victims." As visitors walk inside they would see case summaries of famous class actions, and a breakdown of what the victims received, and what the lawyers received. One example is the recently-settled class action lawsuit over the size of a computer monitor screen, where each class member received a $13 rebate toward the purchase of $250 in new computer equipment, while the attorneys filing the suit negotiated $5.8 million in legal fees.

Another example would be a class action against the makers of a popular breakfast cereal, over a food additive with no evidence of any injury to consumers. The lawyers who sued the company received fees of almost $2,000 per hour, for a total of nearly $2 million. Consumers received coupons for a free box of cereal. Quarterly, one of these writers receives a check for one penny from a class action suit he barely knew he was part of! The lawyers made over $50 million. The check: uncashable!

In conjunction with this room we should run a side-contest where visitors can attempt to find the socially redeeming work in these cases.

Mr. Nader claims his 7,000 square foot American Museum of Tort Law will be "a major slice of American history." Indeed, lawsuit abuse has, unfortunately, become very much a part of our American legislative, executive and judicial heritage.

We pray that no public funds will be used to build the museum. We think the public has already given more than its fair share. In fact, after everything Americans pay to support lawsuit abuse, the museum admission should at least be free. In addition, how about all visitors who finish the tour receiving a $50,000 all cash rebate from the American Trial Lawyers Association?

Article from here


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